Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I will be naked everywhere
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
