Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
