Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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