I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there's paper in my vomit.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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