Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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