I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
