Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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