new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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