It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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