just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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