Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
