I showed him my bush... on skype.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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