There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I've blown a few things in my day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
did i just pee glitter
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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