just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
