you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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