he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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