I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
