all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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