he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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