Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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