I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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