like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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