I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
