I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He kissed a someone with a penis
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
