I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
