i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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