who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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