is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
