After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
