ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
