Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
