It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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