Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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