Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
