My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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