you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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