Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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