I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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