if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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