I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
