Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
