Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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