I CAN MOONWALK!
Buhtt sex?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
