3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
