I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
