JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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