Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
