There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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