Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
