it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
