Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
