Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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