News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize