We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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