i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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